When the light does not shine directly on us, we must draw from his light within us and shine outwardly like a beacon, for He is always inside of us. Now, only to work on trying to remember that...to recall that he does not recoil from us, but nudges ever closer, despite our desperate, bumbling, humanity.
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness".
Where I lack in consistency, in sticking with new habits, manners of speaking, oaths to be better...his love abounds even in my less proud moments. When sins tumble out of my head, slide sickly over my heart, and vex my tongue to speak them, he embraces my shame and renews my desire for goodness. I am meant for more, not because of who I am, but because of who he is.
My grey moments unfold to be scrubbed and whispered dry against the pressing of his love against my spirit, until I am white with his light and clean by his grace.